..B: calling me a lyre?!Bloke goes to a costume party, stark naked, painted green with his girlfriend on his back. Someone asks ‘what are you supposed to be?’, he replies ‘I’m a tortoise’. ‘What about her?’, he replies... ‘that’s Michelle’I told my doctor that when I travel from country to country I have the urge to get drunk. She told me I’m a borderline alcoholic.A man walked into a supermarket with his zipper down.A checkout chick walked up to him and said, “Your barracks door is open.”Not a phrase that men normally use, he went on his way looking a bit puzzled.When he was just about done shopping, a man came up and said, “Your fly is open.”He zipped up and finished his shopping.At the checkout, he intentionally got in the line where the girl was that told him about his “barracks door.”He was planning to have a little fun with her, so when he reached the counter he said, “When you saw my barracks door open, did you see a soldier standing in there at attention?”The girl thought for. Mark looked startled as she swung the door open and entered the room. He was up to his neck in the water. "Thanks, Mom, you can just leave it and I'll eat it after I've soaked awhile," he said. Alicia gave him a suggestive smile. "You can soak and eat at the same time," she said, sitting down on the tile floor next to the sunken tub. Her robe fell open and she didn't try to hide herself. She gave the boy a good look at her bare legs and at her breasts. He glanced away from her tits with an apparent effort. "That's kind of messy, isn't it, eating with wet hands?" She let her legs dangle down into the water, let her knees spread as they would. Her robe opened up and she knew the boy could see her cunt under it if he bothered to look. He did. "You don't need to use your hands, darling, I'll hold the sandwich while you eat." She picked up the sandwich and held it to his mouth. "Open up." He gave her a puzzled, foolish expression, then took.
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